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    Dirty Joke
    A Guy is in a line at the Super Market when he notices that the rather dishy blonde behind him has just raised her hand, smiled and said hello to him.

    He is rather taken aback that such a looker would be waving to him, and although familiar he can't place where he might know her from, so he says "Sorry, do you know me?"

    She replies "I maybe mistaken, but I thought you might be the father of one of my children!"

    His mind shoots back to the one and only time he has been unfaithful, "Christ!" he says "are you that stripogram on my stag night that I screwed on the pool table in front of all my friends while your boyfriend whipped me with some wet celery and stuck a cucumber up my ass ?"

    "No" she replies, "I'm your son's English Teacher"


    A family is at the dinner table. The son asks his father,
    "Dad, how many kinds of boobies are there?"
    The father, surprised, answers, "Well, son, there are three kinds of breasts.
    In her twenties, a women's breasts are like melons, round and firm.
    In her thirties to forties, they are like pears, still nice but hanging a bit.
    After fifty, they are like onions."


    "Yes, you see them and they make you cry."

    This infuriated his wife and daughter, so the daughter said,
    "Mom, how many kinds of 'willies' are there?"
    The mother, surprised, smiles and answers, "Well, dear, a man goes through three phases.
    In his twenties, his willy is like an oak tree, mighty and hard.
    In his thirties and forties, it is a birch, flexible but reliable.
    After his fifties, it is like a Christmas tree."

    "A Christmas tree?"

    "Yes, dead from the root up and the balls are for decoration only."
    posted by Tc @ 5:05 PM  
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