Now that it is over I feel I can breath and tell you what has been going on.
Last Friday I received a call from CPS letting me know that a complaint had been filed and they had spoken with Gabby at school and needed to go over the report with us.
WTF! I was torn between hurt, anger, and fear. What the heck was this all about? We don't beat our child. She eats more than anyone I know at times. She has been going to bed an hour earlier since starting school. She's clean. Her clothes are nice albeit maybe not ironed all the time. No more bruises than a normal child, less than I used to have at her age. She's healthy, has all her shots. She's not made to live in the hall closet. WTF?! Yes we are a loud family. There are yelling matches and arguments but nothing violent.
Also who the hell?
So I called back and left a message. I have been a huge stress ball since this call.
When we finally got home and started asking Gabby questions we got what we were looking for.
Baby did some one come and talk to you at school today?
-Yes, she was nice. I got to go into an office and there were stuffed animals on the walls it was fun.
Really? What did you talk about?
mmm.... Did she ask you questions?
Like what kind of questions.
-Like are we going to tell the truth and not lie.
*quite a few more questions with non answers.
-OH! Then she took a picture of this! *proceeds to yank her pant leg up and show a rather large ugly bruise.*
OMG Gabby how did you get that?!
-When Daddy spanked me with the shoe.
WTF! When did you hit her with a shoe Alex!
The other night when she got in trouble.
What the hell are you talking about! I was woken up when she started crying because you spanked her. What the hell made you think a shoe was a good choice! What is wrong with you!
Long story shortened basically he thought the flip flop would hurt less than his hand. I pointed out multiple times that hand to bottom is spanking object to anywhere is beating. And so help me if he costs me Gabby I will kill him.
We finally figured out that it must have been the school who contacted since she had gone to the nurse for an ice pack one day when the bruise was hurting.
The weekend passed and was uneventful with the exception of starting to re-arrange Gabby's room (I have to get pictures).
Called and left the CPS lady a message Monday. Then Tuesday. Finally at the end of Tuesday I got a call back. She would come to our apartment Thursday evening to talk to us about the complaint and get the story of what happened.
He explained what happened. He had been after her to clean her room while he made dinner. That over the span of 30 min or so and 4 odd requests with her telling him no or playing instead that he got angry and since he was afraid that spanking her with his had would hurt he for (some stupid reason) thought the flip flop would hurt less. And that between her twisting away he had missed her bottom and gotten her upper leg.
I explained that I had been super sick/suffering from an allergic reaction/and dealing with the fear the baby was causing that week that I had come home and gone to bed leaving Alex in charge for the night. That I was awakened by her screaming and crying. Separated the two of them, maybe threatened him death, and took care of the issues. What I saw was that her leg was red and there was no evidence of bruising at the time. She never complained to me about it hurting. And since she takes her own showers with the occasional "Gabby you have been in here twenty minuets and you haven't even washed your hair yet. Get a move on.", and she dresses herself. I never saw the bruise until she pulled up her pant leg.
Under normal circumstances it would never have gotten that far to begin with. I always step in and separate them when he starts to get angry. He keeps forgetting she is just five and clean your room is not a directive she can fully follow. It has to be along the lines of Gabby, you need to pick up all your Barbies and put them where they belong. When that is done come get me and I will tell you what needs to happen next.
But back on track. She said that after talking to Gabby and talking to us that she was going to recommend that the case be dropped. That when we get that letter there will be a paper we need to fill out and send back that will remove us from the system like this didn't happen.
She also re-iterated to Alex that open hand on bottom is a spanking and that in the State of Texas they are still legal.
So this very frightening chapter in our lives will be closed.
I am still rather upset with the school.
On one hand I understand the logic and I am glad they worry about our kids enough to do this.
On the other hand why didn't they contact us before filing the complaint or in conjunction with the complaint. I am not ashamed and if a mistake has been made in our house I will own up to it. I was unaware of the bruise. I would have found out what happened and called them back or gone in for a meeting to explain it. As is I am working up or is it working down my anger and hurt feelings so I can e-mail the school and explain what had happened.
It kills me that they think I am that type of parent or she lives in such a rotten home. I mean do they talk to her? Can't they see what a happy girl she is, how loved?
On another note. Did you guys watch Grey's last night? Was anyone else a weepy ball of snot? Or was that just my hormones? Was anyone else thrown for a loop when they found out that Bernadette Peters characters husband cheated on her? I mean seriously. Can they not see how beautiful she is? What an idiot.
When is Alex going to get his shit together?
Did anyone else want to slap the shit out of the woman who was telling the truth to Grey about what happens in relationships? Dude she needs to be delusional to function.
OMG they need to bring back army dude. grrrrr
Also if they are going to keep bringing sexy Denny back I won't be able to watch since I start full on bawling. It just kills me.